Getting Over The Phase
Ever been through that “phase” where everything you touch gets turned to “nothing”. Or when everything just falls out of place and there is no sign of it getting better? We can talk about every tool and technique in the book, but most often than not, we all find ourselves, stuck in the wrong job that we just cannot bring ourselves to perform at or enjoy. The good news is that, this is normal. Completely normal. Our 20’s are all about mistakes and breaking myths. Yes, we compromise, yes we work for money. The bills have to be paid after all. And not all of us are brave or lucky enough to start our lives by following our dreams. The bad news is that, these “off phases” present some very destructive and lasting impacts on both our professional and our personal lives. These phases where we look at most things we do as “negative experiences” end up limiting our thought processes. I once had a Trainee who came up to me asking for career advice. She was limiting herself through her Negative experiences. What she needed was emotional repairing as opposed to just career guidance. Sounds touchy doesn’t it? We have all cringed! She had a great degree, was a good orator and was a startling academic sucess.Yet somehow she had managed to find and settle for a job that did not utilize her skills at all and spend a good 2 years of her life there before she chose to leave. She spent a year after that looking for all sorts of jobs. Now her brilliant academic records lie in waste, gathering dust even as she says, “I have had enough! Any job some job”. She had a hard time jumping back into the job market. “It is all over now. There is nothing left for me. I have managed to spoil everything”. Admittedly a 3 year break is a bit much. But it’s what she kept repeating over and again. “It’s all over”. The negative spell had spiraled her into believing that no matter what she did or what talents she had she was going to end up in a dead beat job with nothing good in sight- Because she had squandered away opportunities a good 3 years’ worth of it.
Break the negativity: Breaking these negative spells is the first step to building a career of your choice. Yes you got “stuck” with that job – which every fiber tells you is wrong. But there is always a choice and you made yours when you decided to take it – Whatever your reasons were. There is always a right time to leave. And it is not all that bad. It is not the end of the world.
Once Burned, Lesson learned: We don’t always have ideal situations and yes, we do not use the advantages we have wisely. But we also need not repeat the same mistakes. See if your “advantages” are yet relevant. If they are use them differently this time, if they aren’t then see how they can help you to gather newer advantages
It is a struggle Accept it: A career of your choice. No one expects us to magically land that perfect job. It is a struggle for most of us. What did you do wrong? What are you doing wrong? This is a great time to examine that.
Deadlines: Yes we all have jobs where we work to bring home money and for no other reason. Well some of us can’t help it good practice here would be to give yourself a deadline. Tell yourself that this is for a year or two and then leave.
Learn when you are down: Any job, every job teaches you skills. You just need to look at it optimistically and any skill, if used wisely will work for you. Yes you have a crappy job, but its teaching you something. Learn these skills; they are the first step in preparing for that dream job. Keep updating your skills for the job you do love
Living in Minutes: Make time, no matter how small to do one piece of thing you love. This makes us happier as people and promotes hope that we can get where we want to be one day.
Your eyes on the prize: This is not you! There is a dream that awaits completion and every step you take must be toward fulfilling it. Break your negative barriers and say no to every situation that is telling you that you can’t make it. Make your plan when you are at jobs you don’t want to be at. Start preparing one small baby step at a time and move, crawl towards your goals.
Stay Practical: Lastly, but most importantly, breaking your negative emotions means gearing up to work harder! It is not to say, I have broken negativity and settle into a comfortable acceptance saying – good things will happen now. Negativity is what limits you from spending that extra hour honing your skills; Negativity is what makes you lazy by taking away hope. Breaking negativity is the first step – Here is where we wiggle our toe. The next step is obviously walking!